Random, Wierd, but Fun Story Using Literary-Period-Associated Words

Story and post by Alex Chang

Ok, so I have some people who likes this completely random story while others (familiar faces here now...!) thought it was wierd and confusing. Personally, I thought it was really funny even after reading it over five times. Bottom line: people may say it is junk, but I like it. I'm going to be using names here because these lucky winners get to experience my chaotic world! The numbers I put in the story are notes that are at the bottom of the post.


Once upon an era, in a FEUDALISTIC society, there exists a town named Midgar (1). The inhabitants loved PLAYWRIGHTS, which they saturate with an assortment of SYMBOLS that are realistic and unrealistic. In fact, some excavators believe that these symbols often center on their god, a giant, yellow, electric mouse with red cheek patches (2). This god was said to be the INTELLECTUAL being that inspired the scientific REDISCOVERY of dimensional travels. One of the excavator on the site, Jacy, stumbled into a hidden chamber covered with slimy substance that tasted like peanut butter. She discovered that the walls of this DARK room are engraved with the EXPOSITORY incantation to summon Sephiroth (3), the One-Winged Angel. Since she always wanted to have Sephiroth's autograph, she opened her mouth and started singing the spell with her MELODRAMATIC voice. The magic field that the spell started to generate caused chaos in the other rooms where the other excavators wondered where Jacy went. They were suddenly swarmed by hopping mushrooms with fangs (4), with Byron dubbed as the CONSERVATIVE politician's revenge. Brent suddenly said that if these sushi ingredients aren't more adhered to INDIVIDUALISM, he'll run their heads off with his awesome racecar. Suddenly, aliens attack the site where the ancient ruins of Midgar is, shouting something about how they're going to beautify the world with their crusade for BEAUTY. They fired a beautiful, oh so godly shield-your-eye-because-it
s-too-beautiful beautiful, aurora beam (5) at the ruins just when Jacy finished singing the spell. Oh, what perfect timing, what perfect EXACTNESS. Sephiroth appears in the sky, shouting about how Mother (6) had granted his LIBERATION and that he must purge the world for Mother. The aliens looked up and said "HE MUST BE THIS AFRICAN AMERICAN (7) THE MYTH HAD MENTIONED. LET'S BEAUTIFY HIM!!" The DISILLUSIONED aliens fired aurora beams at Sephiroth, but Alicia, Alex, David, Bethany, Eleanor, Daniel, Cory, Max, who all also wanted Sephiroth's autograph, summoned Coldplay, Paramore, Within Temptation, Angela Aki, The Black Mages, Kelly Clarkson, Jay Chou, Alter Bridge, and Lady Gaga and have all musicians, singers, performers, bands, and music groups perform a song about INTELLECTUALISM so the aliens won't be disillusioned to think that Sephiroth is this African American of the legend (they probably thought Sephiroth was John Legend). Byron thought the whole ordeal was SENSELESS so he called the Pikachu god (8) to use a multi-area effect thunder attack. Alician said to Byron "Pikachu exists in YOUR FANTASY. Let me summone someone REAL. I summon thee, Riku (9)!" Both a giant Pikachu and Riku the Dawn Warrior appeared, which created a time warp into the CONTEMPORARY era. The inhabitants of the Contemporary era though the aliens were the COUNTER-CULTURE group and started hunting them down, immune to their beautification weapons. Sephiroth, still flying, started slashing at the Dawn Warrior with his NON-EUROCENTRIC sword/katana. Pikachu, which had been charging up to use a multi-area effect thunder attack, used a super thunderbolt, which fried the world, turning it into a giant, beautiful sushi roll and the moon turned into a giant boba milk tea!

Notes:
(1). Midgar was a fictional place in Final Fantasy VII where the electric company Shinra exist. Shinra created the antagonist of Final Fantasy VII, Sephiroth, by conducting experiments on Sephiroth's mother. Midgar was destroyed when a meteor crashed soon after Sephiroth's defeat.

(2). This "god" is actually a huge Pikachu, as later mentioned in the story. Pikachu is a Pokemon and is the mascot of the Pokemon world. This Pokemon is well known for its electric attack. Pikachu does not have the ability to perform space-time distortion.

(3). Sephiroth is the main antagonist in Final Fantasy VII. Originally a hero, he became a villain once he learned of the horrible experiments Shinra conducted to him. He ended up hating the entire world. Sephiroth is characterized with his single black angle wing protruding from his left shoulder and carries a seven foot long katana called Masamune.

(4). These mushrooms with fangs are called Goombas. Goombas are small rogue mushrooms in the Mushroom Kingdom in the Mario world. They are easily defeated with a single jump on their heads.

(5). Aurora beam is an attack often used by ice-type Pokemons. It is characterized as an icy, multicolored beam and deals moderate damage.

(6). The Mother, named Jenova, mentioned in this story is not Sephiroth's mother, but an alien life-form whose cells are taken to use for experimentation on Sephiroth's mother. Nevertheless, it was this life-form that made Sephiroth who he is. Jenova is also called the "Calamity from the Skies" and "Heaven's Dark Harbinger." The "n" could had been a shortned "h," suggesting that Jenova is a false god.

(7). Sephiroth is not African America.
(8). This "Pikachu God" is actually the Pikachu God that the ancient inhabitant of Midgar (of this story) had worshipped.
(9). Riku is a protagonist from the Kingdom Hearts series. Riku uses a sword called the Keyblade, which he named "The Way to Dawn" and therefore is also called the Dawn Warrior.