The End is Here

For my memoir project the six words I decided to choose are "only dangerous when something goes wrong."  As a last remembrance of of my time in high school I am going to tell everyone my biggest secret, I drive a race car and just plain like doing dangerous things.  I know it's a big shocker to everyone but it's the truth.  Anytime I can put my life on the line for an adrenaline rush I have no problem doing it.  In fact for my 18th birthday I got to fly in an acrobatic glider pulling g's and doing various flips.  I've had crashes that most shouldn't walk away from yet the very next day I'm back in a car ready to race and go as fast as possible.  I don't know why I like to do what I do, but all I know is I cant get enough of it.  I believe if you live life in safety, you aren't really living life at all.
-Brent S.

The "H" Word

For the last week Pavneet has been asking me where I’m headed for college; I reluctantly answer with “I don’t know,” and she has to drag out the truthful response out of me. I respond and act in such a callow manner, not because I want to feel more accomplished by expanding the length of the response, but rather because I feel hollow inside when I say the name of the college I’ll be attending: I feel that I didn’t deserve to be admitted.

I was amazed when I got in. I sat in the Career Center awaiting my rejection email when I suddenly burst into tears of joy, barely finding the ability to hold myself together when I read “I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions and Financial Aid has voted to offer you a place […].” I would have never guessed that I, over thousands of far more qualified, genius-like individuals, would have gotten in. I have maintained a competitive academic record and decent extracurricular involvement, but I have never won the Intel Science Fair or started a nonprofit organization.

What I thought was going to be the most exciting opportunity of my life, slowly began to look to be the most stressful. Suddenly, people began to notice me, randomly giving me high fives down the hall. And, with my newfound attention, came expectations: People expect me to be perfect and know the answer to everything. In government, where I am known to make inappropriate and immature comments to provide comic relief, someone asked, “How did he get into Harvard?” after I suggested we should bring a strip pole into the class after the AP test.

Don’t get me wrong, I am honored to have elected Prom Prince and to receive random high fives, but I’m sure, unless you knew how awesome I was before my lucky accomplishment, I would have never been selected as Prom Prince or received random high fives and congratulations. Moreover, I am still trying to come into terms with has happened. Yes, it’s exciting to be going where I’m going, but it’s also overwhelming. I don’t consider myself special (besides, my sexy seducing looks), so, first, I don’t even know if I should have gotten in. Second, going away to a new environment—yet again—knowing that I probably won’t see most of my peers ever again, since I might not be able to visit, is far most stressful and agonizing knowing that people expect me to act in a certain way so their perception of the college is maintained.

Furthermore, to address the fact that I refrain from saying the name of the college I’ll be attending, I do so for two reasons. The first one, as I stated previously, is because I doubt my abilities and, thus, don’t think I should have been admitted. Moreover, although I am happy I was admitted, I’m also distraught: Not all of my friends were accepted into the colleges they wanted to and I feel it would be inconsiderate of me to go around saying where I’m going, as I feel I’m “slapping them in the face.” I consider them far more amazing than me and, though I know they will shine wherever they go, I can’t help to be mad and cautious. Already, I lost my lovely wife, Jennifer, since she felt our marriage wasn’t going to work since I was up to “bigger” things.

Just because I am going to Harvard, doesn’t mean I’m anything special. For all I know, in ten years I’ll probably be working for someone currently reading this. Hell, I might even be a stripper in ten or, finally, decide to pursue my underwear model career.

For know I just want to be the same-old Carlos. The one that smile and waves when someone calls his name; the one that wants a strip pole in government class; the one that calls everyone “gurl;” the one that was unnoticed (for the exception of his random antics); the one that talks ridiculously fast; the one that lashes out—as any hardcore feminist would—against misogynist comments; and, apparently, the one that has a class –action suit against his persona for emotional distress and sexual harassment, courtesy of Elise.

And so, finally...

It feels awkward to make a double post at the very end of the year, but I suppose that's just the way things happen. Since English class is almost at an end, I'll just be writing about whatever floats to mind.

I'm sure for every senior at Los Osos, if not the entire country, things have gotten a little hectic. College decisions, college acceptances, college choices. All these things throw a huge wrench into our usual routine. However, all of us have managed to keep our wits about ourselves and push through the entire school year without any major hang-ups. The way we all have approached the year are infinitely varied; I know some who have spent this year just like any other, and I have seen people visibly stressed by the idea of the end of high school. However, it is not just the top of our class that are stressed, and it is not the lowest who do not care. Despite this, I think all of us have matured since we first walked onto the campus of Los Osos High School into somebody worth being, whether we realize it or not.
When I started off here, I was awkward, quiet, and unused to people. Since I grew up in an environment with a very small amount of children, I wasn't quite sure how to talk to people. I spent almost all my time at home, playing video games and reading manga online. In four years, though, everything has changed, but I am still the same person. I still play video games, and I still read manga online. Doctor Who has become my guilty pleasure, and I still prefer being alone to being with a large group of people. However, I have friends that I love dearly and would do everything and anything to aid them. Also, I have recognized where my interests lie, and where my limits are. Talking to people still isn't a strong point of mine, but I can do it without much of a problem anymore.
It is imperative that we mature and grow as we get older. Without doing so, we remain childish, and never truly realize what it is to live in the world. As a child I was always logical; I never did anything without a good reason, and only replied to things when it required an answer. Decisions were always tough for me to make because I would always try to weigh the pros and cons of both things in question. However, leading a logical life is obviously accompanied by a bit of tedium. Now, I try to combine my logic with instinct to make quicker decisions, and sometimes act on impusle just to see what happens.
Obviously, we as high school seniors are not at the peak of our mental growth. We still have so much to learn, and so much to discover. However, we ARE at a point where we are conscious of what goes on around us, and how we affect our surroundings. We have reached the crossroads of life where we dictate which path we want to embark on. Some of us have already decided which path to take; some are still on the first step, unsure of where to go. Hopefully, all of us will choose the path that suits us best, and will reach happiness and success in what is to come.

Best of luck to you all.

Byron Choy

Amidst the Worry

By now, most, if not all, high school seniors have chosen what college they wish to attend, and are eagerly awaiting the new year following the end of this one. However, I am slowly realizing that I have mixed feelings about leaving school. There is quite a bit of comfort in following the monotony of a school day, and living with parents leaves only a fraction of responsibilities for us. Despite this, I know that it is impossible to stay in this peaceful, dependent state forever, and that the day that we, as seniors and adults, step out into the world on our own is fast approaching.
On a related note, I am fairly intimidated about the amount of money that must be invested in my own education. Sure, half tuition to USC is much appreciated, but with parents already burdened enough with two daughters to take care of and almost no money to spare, I find it pretty tough to find a way to make up that $30,000 deficit. How does everyone else deal with this problem? Does everyone have a magical bank of money that they kept just for this occasion? 

The Dread of Blog Posts

Yesterday Mrs. Elliott warned us about our blog records being due in a week, with at least 2 blog posts attached. I cringed at the thought, simply because I knew my own blog record was untouched since February 28. I was not very good at this blogging thing. I was unable to keep up with posts until she announces the due date  of our records, in which I still Facebooked instead of commented. Yet whenever I come to blog I always find myself enjoying the blog posts of other teams, ceaselessly venting on the comment box, unaware that I had fulfilled my 8 comment requirment. Nonetheless these feelings come in waves. So I attempted my blog comeback today; I was worried my team's blog was deleted due to inactivity (but thanks to Alex Chang for keeping up with it). I had not posted since January 31, and I completely forgot my team's email to login to the page! Simply said: I suck at blogging.
So I decided to comment first instead, and I was immediately affected by Mariah Neilson's blog about her new diet. Not about the giving up sweets parts of course, but I was influenced by her determination and ability to create her own blog and update it daily. Much like Mrs. Elliott, she blogs each day about her new diet, recipes, and cravings as they occur. I admire thei persistence simply because I cannot do it. I mean I can barely keep up an ASSIGNED blog, how am I supposed to do one for fun?
Thus I set my goal: this summer I will start my own blog. An old friend once told me her goal in life was to have one job starting with each letter of the alphabet, and I always wanted to write about it. Perhaps this summer I could try to accomplish things starting with each letter of the alphabet. I.E A) Angels Baseball game. B) Broadway musical... and so on. I plan for this blog to not only test my endurance on writing, but to truly allow myself to open up to strangers about my daily events. I thank Mrs. Elliott for incessantly requiring comments and blog posts because only now do I understand the use of it. Whether you follow Mariah's vegetarian lifestyle, or my alphabetical adventures, know that it was prepared through the dread of posts like these :)

Jacy W

Song Analysis: The Wish to Not Vanish

Here's something I'd thought I do for fun. This song, titled The Wish to Not Vanish, has 'literary merit' to me. That is, this song positively impacted me as a person based on how I interpreted the lyrics (and listen to its melody). It's in Japanese, but I've provided a translation. Use the romanji (English pronounciation of Japanese words) as a guide to keep track when listening to the song.

Song: 消えない願い  (The Wish to Not Vanish)
Singer: Toshinobu Iida
Anime: Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn
Album:  [Mukuro/Chrome]
Release Date: March 4, 2009


Lyrics:

Kawaranu kokoro na do
Like the unchanging heart

Koko ni wa koko ni wa aru hazu mo nai
At here at here it shouldn't exist

Koboreta sakebi demo
Even the overflowing shout

Koko kara koko kara nukedasenai
From here from here it won't slip out
(So far, this song reminded me of the nostalgic past that I had throughout high school)

Tada hitotsu mata hitotsu
Just one and one again

Te ni ireru tabi ni
The obtained journey
(Right now, I think about the future. Colleges, my career, and other stuff that my jouney has)
Tada hitotsu mata hitotsu
Just one and one again

Asu ga toozakaru
Tomorrow has gone far off
(A constantly changing future)

Kienai negai yozora no hate ni
The never-vanished desire in the end of night sky

Ryou no te de hanatsu yo shinjite mitai
Releasing both hands, it's like believing
(There's an entire sky, hence the world, to live in. Even though college rejected you, all you have to do is let go and fly into the sky. However, make sure your desire never vanish by having a strong determination)

Yagate wa kieru sadame toshitemo
Even if the fate vanished before long

Ano hoshi no you ni tsuyoku tsuyoku hikare
Just like that star, shining strongly strongly
(Even though college, or frienship in my case, vanished a long while ago, just keep strong)
Wakariaenakuto mo
Even if I can't understand

Kotoba wa kotoba wa hitsuyou jya nai
The words the words aren't necessary
(You just have to feel, and use your feelings as your power)

Taguri yoseru hibi ni
Reeling and gathering the days
(Remembrance)
Sukoshi mo sukoshi mo mayoi wa nai
Even just a little, just a little, I won't get lost

Tada hitotsu mata hitotsu
Just one and one again

Mitsukedasu tabi ni
The discovered journey
(For those who read my earlier post, this denotes that those who got rejected from the college of their dreams can still find their dreams on a different, but true, path.)
Tada hitotsu mata hitotsu
Just one and one again

Ukande wa kieru
The depression will vanish
(This, to me, voice out my wish of friendship that I lost)

Kienai negai kaze ni nosete
The never-vanished desire riding on the wind

Ten made noboru to shinjiteitai
Rising to the heaven, I want to believe it
(This reflects how I always wanted to fly, not walk, to my goal)
Kowareru you na hakanai inochi mo
Even if it's only a momentary life, it won't broken

Fuusen no you ni takaku takaku nobore
Like a balloon, rising higher and higher

Kienai negai yozora no hate ni
The never-vanished desire in the end of night sky

Ryou no te de hanatsu yo shinjite mitai
Releasing both hands, it's like believing

Yagate wa kieru sadame toshitemo
Even if the fate vanished before long

Ano hoshi no you ni tsuyoku tsuyoku hikare
Just like that star, shining strongly strongly

Once high school ends, you might find your legacy vanishing. However, if you have a strong wish to not vanish, you shall persist.

--A. Chang

The Joy (and disappointment) of College Acceptances (and Rejections).

Yesterday, Mrs. Elliott told us about college acceptances and rejections. She said that these acceptances do not define our value as a person. The same goes as our rejections. Now, some of you may think "psh, it's just a cheer-up thing to say." However, I agree with Mrs. Elliott with my view: college acceptances are just another open path on a journey to a dream. After pondering about the worth of rejections for a while, I came to think rejections as, well, closed paths, meaning that these colleges are not meant for you because your path to your dream lies in some other path (hence college).

However, I'd like all of us to know that during college, it is our chance to excel and prove our worth in the world. How? I'd say by working hard based on your dream. After all, as philosopher Nietzsche noted, it is we as a person who determines our value.

--A. Chang
(ps, C. Tagge likes to call me by this)

Nearing the End and the Beginning

It's already the time of year where college acceptances are coming, or have already came. Everyone has had various degrees of success with regards to the schools they have been accepted to. However, it does not seem like we are anywhere near the end of the school year. For some reason, even though there is only a few weeks of school remaining, the workload seems to be increasing rather than slowing down. Personally, I would have been able to indulge myself over weekends by doing whatever I wished; however, these past few weeks seem to have overwhelmed me with a deluge of calculus, economics, and literature. Despite the perceived increase in work to be done, though, it also seems that other people are having more free time, which is a paradox I cannot begin to comprehend. There's only a few weeks left, so I figure that I might as well go all out until the end. Congratulations to all who got accepted to the colleges of their choice and good luck to those who haven't heard back yet.
Byron C

To be a Philosophic History

A while ago, Mrs. Elliott had the class take an online quiz to suggest our philosophical nature. I got philosopyy history. According to the results, philosophy history believes in multiple truths and opposing ideas and that no person is correct. Most of what I believe matches the description because I believe in the concept of truths have different versions. Also, I believe that EVERYONE is correct, not incorrect (though, I must say there are very little exceptions). The version of truths varies from person to person. It is anologous to a map; a person may see a land from his perspective while a cartographer may see the land from his own view (such as a satelite image).

Philosophy

In class we are studying philosophy.  It's pretty interesting to learn about the way people approach life.  We are doing some project about philosophy where we analyze a philosopher.  My philosopher is pretty interesting.  It's nice to see the contrast between people's viewpoints and strategies when it comes to approaching life.  My philosopher has several quotes that share his perspective on life and the way he lives.  I'm glad we are learning about philosophy it really sits well with me.  I think it's good that we are learning about something other than literature and analysis of texts and expanding our knowledge to worldly topics.

Social Class: Jane Eyre

Underprivileged and disrespected as she was, Jane was in a lower class.  She was looked down upon not only by the male-dominated society of England, but also by anyone whose social class was above her own.  An example is found even in Chapter One of Jane Eyre where, as she was reading “Goldsmith’s History of Rome” on the window, her high and mighty cousin John harassed her to the point of grabbing her “hair and... shoulder.”  By the end of the quarrel Jane was the one to be scolded by Miss Abbott, not John, which puts Jane’s social standing at fault.  However, Jane would not let this hinder her drive to be an independent woman.  She even had doubts with the first marriage proposal with Mr. Rochester that she would be giving up to much of her independence to be under both a man and a person of a higher social class and financial status.  After the first wedding is broken off, however, Jane becomes a headmistress at a school, a relatively high position for a person of her age and sex.  This levels out the hierarchical gap between her and Mr. Rochester for their second and successful marriage proposal.  Ultimately, Jane is able to overcome the obstacle of social class by both working hard and being presented with the right opportunities at the right time.

This was my portion of the team essay we had to do in our english class.  I decided to post it because I thought it reflected what we have been doing in our class.  Basically we learned how to write a very long essay without actually writing the whole thing.  With my portion of the essay, I tried to stick to just pointing out the social class stuggle from the novel and stay away from how gender made an impact.  I wouldnt say it was difficult to pick out what parts were gender related and which were socially related but i also wouldnt say it was easy.

A Will to Eradicate the Epidemic of Senioritis

Senioritis, the dreadful "disease" that infects the mind of many teenagers, has made itself evident among many student, causing them to procrastinate on school assignments. Even worse, not only school assignments are being neglected, but Senioritis has progressed so far to disable its victim from completing club and social duties. In sense, Senioritis is the invisible chain that wraps themselves around a victim, rendering them to a standstill.

However, I believe there is a way to conquer Senioritis. And that's the key to victory: believe. If you believe that Senioritis does not exists, if you believe that chains of Senioritis are not strong enough to stop you, if you believe that you will not allow anything stop you in your path, then Senioritis cannot hurt you. Essentially, believing is taking the responsibilities that present themselves into your life and making them yours, not Senioritis's. I chose to think Senioritis as a test to prove to myself that I am worthy of controlling my own life and I can pull any weights strapped around my feet to become a stronger and better person legitamately.

--A. Chang

Jane Eyre- The Unexpected Prejudice

Upon initially choosing Jane Eyre to read, I was immediately apprehensive manily for the book's literal size. Hundred's of pages? All about one girl? I was not sure my attention span could handle the story, but reading the first two  chapters in class helped me become interested in Jane. I couldn't help but wonder how her curiousity and maturity developed despite the oppression from her family. I expected a story about how this orphan learns to adapt to her abusive family, but I soon saw the discrimination and prejudice she faced as a female as she grew older.

Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre depicts a patriarchal society characteristic of male dominance and female submission typical of Victorian Society. Protagonist Jane Eyre is undisruptive and passive towards the Reed family that is allowing her to live with them following the death of her immediate family. In Chapter Two when her cousin John Reed physically abuses the young girl, Jane retaliates in self-defense and yet is the one who gets reprimanded for antagonizing John. This type of mistreatment pursues Jane throughout the novel, in which the women in Victorian society are respected as inferiors, or sometime like children. Though Jane furthers her education, assembles into a middle-class role, and becomes a governess at Thornfield, she still earns a meager wage and remains under the control of the master of the house. Jane soon falls in love with her wealthy master Mr. Rochester, but due to culture’s perception of women she feels forbidden to act on her emotions. She says, “He is not of your order, keep to your caste”, showing her lower-class mindset of social inequality that prevents her from true happiness. The inadequacy of females is further demonstrated through the development of their relationship. Mr. Rochester intentionally talks about his marriage to more beautiful women other than Jane, thus torturing her emotions and making her feel substandard. Although the master claims it was to “assure Jane’s feelings” for him, it depicts the typical male-manners of twisting female emotions for his own pleasure and advantage. Additionally, his deceit towards Jane and infidelity towards his own wife epitomize the lack of reverence females possessed in the Victorian era. Conversely, Bertha Mason represents the contrast to expected female behaviors by acting boisterous, violent, and aggressive in pursuing her desires. However, her captivity in Thornfield and disregard by her husband show society’s disapproval of outspoken and whereas Bertha’s eventual death symbolize the Victorian era’s censure for aggressive women.

J. White

Jane Eyre

After some vacillation between the two novels that we had to choose to read at the start of this semester, I eventually chose Jane Eyre because its opening chapters, as shown to us in Mrs. Elliott's class, were far more interesting than those of Tess of the D'urbervilles, in my opinion. Although I initially dreaded to read the novel, intimidated by its sizeable stature and its miniscule font, the exposition of the book turned out to be much better than I had imagined, although still fairly slow. However, upon reaching the "meat" of the novel, I became increasingly engrossed in it, interested in how the relationship between Jane and Mr. Rochester would turn out.
In addition to the solitary reading that I did, one of Mrs. Elliott's lessons was serendipidously focused on one of the passages of the novel that I had spent some time ruminating about. Although I had formed in my psyche a dislike of Mr. Brocklehurst, there were various points in that passage that brought me some confusion. Much to my surprise and pleasure, Mrs. Elliott's lesson on Thursday, January 21 answered every question I had about the passage, as well as showing me a new perspective on "reading between the lines;" honestly, I felt as if I was dissecting every word and examining it for any significant meaning.
In short, Jane Eyre, although slow at its start and slightly confusing in certain areas, is a great piece of literature. I felt that the book really captured the essence of 19th century England, and brought to me a new viewpoint about the situation of females in that era. Also, the characters are amazingly detailed, and Jane's sophistication despite her young age never ceases to surprise me. By reading this novel, I think that I will gain an idea on how someone else would view life, and possibly become more attracted to reading classic literature.

-Byron C

Chapter by Chapter: Quote Responses

Chapter 1

Quote:

“Accustomed to John Reed’s abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it: my care was to endure the blow which would certainly follow the insult” (Brontë 7).

Response:

Jane’s reaction to John’s abuse displays the imposition of male dominance during the Victorian Era and further depicts society and future outcomes. Women of the period were accustomed to male abuse and dominance. At the beginning of John’s assault, Jane did not try to oppose him, as if she was used the maltreatment from him. Besides describing the society during the setting of the novel, this event foreshadows the submission of women to men’s will, which will affect the story, because Jane tends to be rebellious against anyone that tries to harm her.

Chapter 3

Quote:

“Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me; God is a friend to the poor orphan child” (Brontë 23).

Response:

Bessie’s song is symbolic of Jane’s life. The song portrays the life of a miserable orphan child, which can be interpreted as Jane. The song also exclaims that eventually the life of the orphan child will improve. In other words, Bessie’s chant also serves as a foreshadowing of Jane’s life—she would have to endure many arduous and miserable moments, but, at the end, her life will improve.

Chapter 7

Quote:

“You are aware that my plan in bringing up these girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence” (Brontë 76).

Response:

Mr. Brocklehurst is a cruel individual with extremist Christian’s beliefs. He believes that deprivation and harsh conditions would make an individual a better Christian. Mr. Brocklehurst is a hypocrite and does not follow his own beliefs; though he forces the Lowood’s students to follow his idealistic form of living, depriving them from nourishing meals and decent clothing.

Chapter 8

Quote:

“No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough; if others don’t love me, I would rather die than live—I cannot bear to be solitary and hated, Helen” (Brontë 84).

Response:

Jane is worried of what people might think about her, in the same way a high class individual would. While Jane resided at Lowood, the Reeds’ mentality of social perspective foiled onto her. Jane cannot surmount what other might think about her, while someone from her social class would more easily disregard the perspective of others. Jane’s foil of high class attributes has interfered with her mentality; thus on her actions.

Chapter 11

Quote:

“But you see they are only servants, and one can’t converse with them in the terms of equality” (Brontë 120).

Response:

Mr. Rochester’s words of partial equality towards Jane depict his captivation of her. During the Victorian Era, servitude personnel, such as Jane, were rarely treated in terms of equality; thus Mr. Rochester’s exclamation that he can talk to her in terms of equality portrays his feelings for her. One can even claim that it is love at first site, since Mr. Rochester and Jane just met.